you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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