the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
