Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
