Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize