Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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