you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
