do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
