When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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