How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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