I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
