you guys were way drunker than both of me
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
