I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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