imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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