quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
my poor anus
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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