We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
