i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize