thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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