mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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