so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize