with your own penis?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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