It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
