i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You're a waste of cheezeits
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
