Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
