It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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