Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
