OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize