Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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