Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Congratulations! We have a period
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