She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
