How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
no, he came in my armpit
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
