dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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