Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize