You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
