its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
