Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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