So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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