When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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