Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
my liver is dry heaving
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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