first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
