do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
