Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize