im holly from the hills drunk
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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