Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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