I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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