Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Randomize
