pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
