I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
