I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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