Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize