what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
