I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
