I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
