As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
