normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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