oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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