the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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