trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
