i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm passing your future prison.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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